My Love Affair with Boston...

Beacon Hill, wandering slowly up and down Hanover and Salem, following red bricks in the sidewalk along the Freedom Trail, stories of the Old West End, Fenway, walking to Charlestown, taking the ferry back, Italian food in the North End, kids wading in Frog Pond, shopping on Newbury Street, DeLuca's Market (old location and new)...my Boston.

Sweet memories of our spontaneous Saturday morning trips to Boston -

Saturday morning in our little village, the sun shines warmly through the window, softly filtered by the hundred year old trees outside.  He wakes up too and our eyes meet...we slowly wake up, it's early.  We smile, the thought comes to us both at the same moment...no work today, no plans, could this really be?  Waking so sweetly refreshed for it being so early.  We tiptoe around, grabbing a few things for the day, scoop our sleeping kids out of bed and into the car...we're on our way to Boston. 

"She said, I think I'll go to Boston, I think I'll start a new life, I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name, I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather, I think I'll get a lover and fly him out to Spain...oh yeah and I think I'll go to Boston, I think that I'm just tired, I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset, I hear it's nice in the summer, some snow would be nice, oh yeah...I think I'll go to Boson, where no one knows my name" - Augustana 

Get Up...Repeat (Back to New England)

We lived deeply, we fell hard, we are getting back up and literally repeating.  We are headed back to New England, where we left our hearts over a year ago.  We've realized the road isn't perfect or easy anywhere and so we may as well be in a place where walking out the door is enough to make us smile.  Look at this street in Old Wethersfield...tree lined streets, the changing of seasons.  Even from this casual photo you can see traces of the deep love for its own history, and that's what I love about New England!     

I love stories of people who go to the West Coast, California, Texas, New York City, or North Carolina because that's the place that was calling them.  For us, New England calls us, and if I could simultaneously live in dozens of the places I love there I would, but for now I'm content to live in my peaceful little village and explore the states around me to my hearts content, something very easy to do in New England where it seems you can get anywhere you want to in only a few hours!  That is, after we get all the necessities of life taken care of upon arrival...place to live...job.  The first few months will be a matter of survival, but we have done it before.   

It will be a few more years before all things are completed that will put us in a more comfortable stage of life, but in the meantime this is still our life going on right now - precious moments, days and years together with my sweet husband and our boys.  We don't want to miss out on precious time by just letting it pass by without choosing the way we want to spend our time on earth. 

Each day, each moment really is a gift.  For us, that is what this choice is mostly about.  Something that can be hard for people to understand....why you would move 2,700 miles away to live in a smaller apartment for more money.  For us, the trade in square footage is worth the benefits!  Plus, the small apartment won't last forever, we will have a house at some point when school is done, but the memories will last a lifetime! 

Things are not going to be especially easy for us the next few years no matter where we are, so we are going to choose where we want our story to play out.  New England, tickling me with it's dramatic seasons and endless treasures of town greens, villages and history to explore, will be the setting for the next chapter of our lives.    

Beautiful Spring

I love beautiful spring...all the people come out of hiding after hibernating all winter.  Every change of season tickles me, with fall being the intense favorite.  Every year since I was a small child I get excited when I see the first green things poking out of the ground after the snow melts away.  It's just around the corner, or just under the last snowfall...the green that energizes us after a long winter nap. 

Snow

 

Snow...this amazing thing that happens to us,

 

sprinkling magic down through the sky onto everything below.



How to Eat Tons of Kale in a Matter of Minutes

Rip kale off of stems and into medium sized pieces.  Place in a large bowl.
Coat with olive oil, sprinkle of turmeric, freshly grated Parmesan, and sea salt.  It's also good with just olive oil and sea salt.  Bake at 325, stirring/turning at least twice until edges are crispy.  Done when mostly crispy.  Burns easily once it's close so keep an eye on it.  A large bowl of kale cooks into the amount on this plate.

Surprisingly yummy.

Sit on the rug by the fireplace and enjoy.

Finding Megan Again

I'm not sure what happened...adulthood, maybe?  Surely having two children with special needs 17 months apart had something to do with it.  Stress, responsibility, bills, sleep deprivation?

These are real reasons, but also excuses.  There will always be obstacles.  When it comes down to it, it's simple; I must choose.  How do I want to spend my time on Earth?       

I believe that as I set more Megan free, my family will experience the world more deeply as well.  How easy it is to forget my real self when I'm busy addressing urgent needs all around me, but it's an illusion that neglecting self is a noble sacrifice.  The people in my life, and yours, deserve our light and gifts.  We cheat them of the richness within us and in the world around them when we start living plastic lives.       

I am inspired by the times in my life when I have lived openly as the the intensely passionate girl that I am, brimming with life, love, enchanted with the details of the world.  Even when thing get hard, there is still a flickering flame of that passion and intensity still inside.  I must choose.  Taking ownership of my time and attitude, accountability for my experiences, and choosing the details of my days will make all the difference.  Time for rekindling the fire.  Time to be brave.  Right here and now, imperfectly, it's time to find Megan again.

Living Deeply and Falling Hard

 

Almost ten years ago, a boy I really liked said to me, "don't fall hard (insert my last name)".  I was temporarily frozen while processing my feelings and life events.  I pondered his comment and finally concluded, why not?  Why not fall hard?  If I was going to be true to myself, I knew that falling hard was always going to be a very real part of my story.  I recognized that I didn't want to live a dispassionate life, always composed and slightly detached.  I get ridiculously excited about things, I feel things deeply, (a blessing and a curse I suppose!) which inevitably leads me to fall hard...whether I'm falling in love or falling down.  My lows are proportionate to my highs. 

I recognize that my friend's comment was given in that moment and has value in the context of "don't get all worked up about things, Megan" or "don't let this be a stumbling block for you" but the truth was it wasn't really possible for me to not fall hard.  That night his words "don't fall hard" stirred and stimulated my thinking until the words live deeply, fall hard, get up, repeat were finally scribbled onto a page in my journal and became part of my arsenal of personal aphorisms about the way I see the world.

Life is amazing, magical, and beautiful.  We are capable of perceiving lovely subtleties in the textured world around us, intuitions and simple pleasures, deeply experiencing  profound joys and sorrows as our souls expand, as we laugh and cry, dream, explore and try again.       

And I've been falling hard, beautifully, ever since.

~Megan