I'm not sure what happened...adulthood, maybe? Surely having two children with special needs 17 months apart had something to do with it. Stress, responsibility, bills, sleep deprivation?
These are real reasons, but also excuses. There will always be obstacles. When it comes down to it, it's simple; I must choose. How do I want to spend my time on Earth?
I believe that as I set more Megan free, my family will experience the world more deeply as well. How easy it is to forget my real self when I'm busy addressing urgent needs all around me, but it's an illusion that neglecting self is a noble sacrifice. The people in my life, and yours, deserve our light and gifts. We cheat them of the richness within us and in the world around them when we start living plastic lives.
I am inspired by the times in my life when I have lived openly as the the intensely passionate girl that I am, brimming with life, love, enchanted with the details of the world. Even when thing get hard, there is still a flickering flame of that passion and intensity still inside. I must choose. Taking ownership of my time and attitude, accountability for my experiences, and choosing the details of my days will make all the difference. Time for rekindling the fire. Time to be brave. Right here and now, imperfectly, it's time to find Megan again.
